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17th-Oct-2008 04:07 am(no subject)
Cat hiakus
Oh bless Percocet,
finally have the patience
to untangle yarn!
3rd-Oct-2008 11:59 am(no subject)
Cat hiakus
Lucky Brand jeans claim,
"Too tough to die" my ASS! Pfff....
I call bullshit, see?!

Right after I clocked out at work....

I was wearing my T-shirt tucked into my pants to cover the hole while working =P

And that would be a back brace you see there, by the by.

9th-Sep-2008 08:07 am - Smokin' the reefer.
Cat hiakus
Morning bowl before
breakfast, bong hits so smoothly.
I'm hungry now, heh ^_^
3rd-Sep-2008 04:20 pm - The Cat Bomb... *facepalm*
Cat hiakus
9 Absolutely Insane Weapons of War

 9. The Cat Bomb



The earliest examples of cats being used in warfare dates back to the Ancient Egypt during a war against Persia. The Persians, fully aware of the reverance that Egyptians paid to their felines, rounded up as many cats as they could find and set them loose on the battlefield. When the Egyptians were faced with either harming the cats or surrendering, they chose the latter.

During World War I, cats were used in the trenches as an attempt to keep the rat population down and some cats were used as poison gas “detectors”.

The most creative way to use a cat as a weapon happened in World War II. The United States' OSS (Office of Strategic Services, the precursor of the CIA) needed a way to guide bombs to sink German ships. Somebody hit upon the inspiration that since cats have such a strong disdain of getting wet and always land on their feet that if you attached a cat to a bomb and drop it in the vicinity of a ship, the cat's instinct to avoid the water would force it to guide the bomb to the enemy's deck. It is unclear how the cat was supposed to actually guide a bomb attached to it as it fell from the sky but the plan never got past the testing stages since the cats had a bad habit of becoming unconscious mid-drop.

Not to be outdone by its predecessor, the CIA also attempted to use cats but this time as a bugging device during the Cold War. Although a disaster as a guided bomb, the CIA thought that a cat would make the perfect covert listening device in a project known as Operation Acoustic Kitty. They attempted to surgically alter the cat by placing a bugging device inside him and running an antenna through its tail. The project took five years and $15 million dollars before the first field test hit a slight snag when the bugged kitty was released near a Russian compound in Washington and was immediately hit by a car while crossing the street. The project was ended soon after.
232
*facepalm*

THIS IS WHY I DON'T WANT TO PAY TAXES
 
 
2nd-Sep-2008 04:09 pm - But I *want* a meatball tree...
Cat hiakus
http://www.scoutsongs.com/lyrics/ontopofspaghetti.html

A truely touching
rendition, brings a tear to
my eye. What passion!
2nd-Sep-2008 01:57 am - I have a Twitter you guys!
Cat hiakus
I have a Twitter!
Keep up on all my latest
haikus with it! Neat!

http://twitter.com/haikurendezvous
31st-Aug-2008 03:57 pm - Save the Polaroid!
Cat hiakus
Save the Polaroid!
Help preserve man kinds greatest
invention to date!*

http://www.savepolaroid.com/category/takeaction/

*This haiku was over dramatized for dramatic porposes.
31st-Aug-2008 03:11 pm - The interwebs disapproves?!? Oh noes!
Don't panic
TQC don't like
my tattoo*, aw shucks and damn!
What ever shall I do?

I don't feel like messing with the last line to drop a syllable, so suck it! And by it, I mean an egg.

*http://community.livejournal.com/thequestionclub/46558198.html
30th-Aug-2008 03:56 pm - Barackroll!
Cat hiakus
Hah, I died laughing ^_^
Barackroll FTW! Hee!
Check it out you guys!

30th-Aug-2008 01:58 pm - I love Janie ^_^
penguin
Heh, so a little while ago I posted about how at work I always know where my towel is (a little hand towel is always hanging off my hip, being a dishwasher and all). Well, last week Jane told me something along the lines of, "You never misplace/I never see you without your little rag!" to which I promptly responded, "Well I always know where my towel is!" *Glee* ^_^
30th-Aug-2008 01:45 pm - I have a plan!
Cat hiakus
Major, UAF,
Ph.D. at U of O,
I think that sounds good.

And then after graduation I run away to Europe (I'd settle for Canada). Hopefully with a Ph.D. in philosophy from the U of O I won't have a hard time getting a teaching job (I'm looking into becoming a philosophy professor, if I haven't mentioned that before). Perhaps with a minor in English (though he's already told me what I studied isn't important, just that I graduated, heh) I could go teach English in Korea, like my brother did, in between my major and Ph.D. I think I ought to send him out an e-mail, he's always good to bounce ideas off of.
29th-Aug-2008 03:07 pm - What?!?!
Cat hiakus
Sarah Palin is John McCains running mate?!? What the shit! *shakes fist* Well, I figured he was going to go for a female running mate, but dammit.

Edit: Okay, so I'm new to (at least paying any attention to) politics, and didn't know about the short list, but still.
Cat hiakus
At my funeral:
Oh It's a very merry
un-birthday today!

Yeah yeah, I just added the "oh" for an extra syllable, so shoot me!
26th-Aug-2008 02:57 am - G'night
Cat hiakus
Butt hurts from sitting.
It's three in the damn morning.
I ought to sleep now.

Headache from staring
at the glowing 'puter screen.
I ought to sleep now.

Laughing far too hard
at things not quite that funny*.
I'm gunna sleep now.

*http://community.livejournal.com/thequestionclub/46182088.html
23rd-Aug-2008 07:48 pm(no subject)
Cat hiakus
Gulliver's [Book] Annex,
40-90%
off [all] inventory.

Good lord! All new books,
book related items, too!
The duct tape bible!/
Buddha in a Box!/
Tao in a Box, too!/

Moral is, Big Voodoo Daddy in the Sky* bless the book annex. I got:

-Son of a Stitch 'n Bitch
-Rip It (a book that will hopefully inspire me to finally do something with all the clothes I need to tweak)
-Stencil Pirates (A full history on the stencil movement and templates for you to cut out [though I think I'll Xerox])
-Philosophy 101
- The Darwin Awards: Evolution in Action (which goes hand in hand with...)
-The Warning Label book
-I'm Not a Feminist But... (a book full of pointing out injustices and such)
-The Salmon of Doubt (because I need to read everything Douglas Adams, for serious.)
-The Little Book of Insults
-Peepshow (1950s pin-up girls in 3-D!)

*Credit to Becca.
23rd-Aug-2008 02:43 pm(no subject)
Cat hiakus
Now that I'm rid of
anxiety and depression,
I forget to eat!

Really, I'll get to work realizing I've eaten nothing but a bowl of Fruit Loops and then eat nothing at work and just pass out after that. Ah well, I prefer it to over eating any day. Speaking of, I've yet to eat breakfast, and I've almost been awake for an entire hour =P And if I want to keep losing weight, I need to eat! Off I go...
21st-Aug-2008 11:53 am(no subject)
Cat hiakus
I want my tombstone
to read, "Tragically suffered
from hand squeezie death."

20th-Aug-2008 02:38 pm - Yes! I crochet now!
Cat hiakus
Etsy is evil,
in so many damn cute ways.
When I'm rich, dammit....*

*when I'm rich I plan to by everything I need through Etsy, among other plans for when I'm rich**
**Coming soon: My plans for when I'm rich!: A Blog Entry
***This shall be my wedding ring, and this my chapel.

I found Nemo!


Dude, I'd match my iPod case and my head band! (Shana Logic; also evil***)

AND! I got my cigarette/joint case today ^_^



(from Etsy, of course)
20th-Aug-2008 01:09 pm(no subject)
Cat hiakus

Did you guys know that
I poke badgers with spoons? Yes!
It's true I tell you!


I finished my Fruit Loops, where's me some badgers?!

I <3 Eddie Izzard.
20th-Aug-2008 12:11 pm - Not a haiku.
Cat hiakus
Never wake me up.
Unless you're waving a bowl in my face asking for a pipe.
Hooray!
13th-Aug-2008 03:01 am(no subject)
Cat hiakus
*Kermit flail*

Sorry, I had to.
An irresistable urge.
*Kermit flail*
There I go again.
12th-Aug-2008 02:09 pm - OkCupid is evil
Cat hiakus
Normally I don't
like to post test results, but,
I'm The Queen bitches!

Your result for Which Chess Piece are You Test?...

The Queen

Congrats! Only 2-3% of the population score this!

Queen’s are the rarest of all types. They are quiet but hold the deepest of convictions regarding the matters of the world. They are frequently activists for their cause, they will do what’s right but not for glory, not for political power. It is why they are the Queen. They are the champions of the oppressed and the downtrodden. They are found in the wake of the aftermath rescuing those in acute distress. They may even fantasize revenge on those who victimize the defenseless. Think of ‘Poetic Justice’ and you’ll have appealed to the Queen.



You can’t lead the Queen if only because they are right in suspecting others motives. You cannot fool this individual even if they are sympathetic. The Queen selects a few for friendship – these are friends that transcend the very word. They promote harmony with their very presence and typically make their surroundings more beautiful by just being there to clean up the mess. Don’t mistake them for extroverts – they are special in their diplomacy. They are ‘doers’ and dreamers. They can only be intimate with a chosen few. They will withdraw suddenly if pressed and this is necessary for them.



The Queen excels with writing and communication. They are often the counselors of home, of public service and the good face of politics for the King. They look at the global perspective and are better at spotting patterns and relations. They think of the future and strive for meaning and purpose.

Take Which Chess Piece are You Test? at HelloQuizzy



Really, how'd that happen? Though, besides good communication, they got me to a T... And I quote [OKGo], "I never say quite what I mean, and never mean quite what I say, and how did that get out of me, and what the hell did I mean to
say" - There's a Fire <- My communication skills, to a T =P
9th-Aug-2008 10:26 pm(no subject)
Cat hiakus
Surfing on dial-up,
it tests ones patience, indeed.
I hate it with fury.
5th-Aug-2008 03:50 pm(no subject)
penguin
I realized something... Working as a dishwasher, I always (or at least while at work) know where my towel is! *points to hip where hand towel usually is*

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